Validation

Everyone needs to feel validated. It's a basic human need. They need to feel like what they are doing is helpful, wanted, and appreciated. Validation comes from within, intrinsically. But it also comes from other people acknowledging the person's efforts, extrinsic validation, if you will. 

How does one recieve the right validation? Well, it comes from different things for different people. I have a friend that receives validation through school. The things she does through and for the school bring her fulfillment, and are noticed and recognized by others. I have another friend who gets validation by doing things in her church. In both scenarios my friend enjoys what they do and because of that they don't always know that they feed of the validation they are receiving in performing the action they are doing! 

I think I get validation through many things, nobody has just one source of validation. But I believe I get a lot of fulfillment through playing fastpitch. I feed of the energy and excitement others have for my game. I feed off of having special fans in the stands! I feel like what I do is worth the while and time I have dedicated to it! 

Sometimes people's need for validation is greater than others'. That's why when someone seems needy, controlling, outspoken, or annoying, part of it is they are striving for validation they have not yet gotten! They might not have gotten it for numerous reasons, but whatever the reason, they are seeking it, often in the wrong way. 

So when someone is being annoying, loud, or needy in some way, take a minute and examine what they are trying to get by being loud. Are they trying to get that all important validation from the people around them? And if they are, could you be the one to give it to them? Could you be the one to encourage them a little and maybe make the annoying habit stop? To do that you may have to examine your own thing that gives you validation. What gives you validation and fulfillment?