So, lately I have observed a lot of teenage relationships, both break and form! I have helped friends through break-ups and also watched friends start-up fresh ones... But each time a romantic relationship is involved, it gets complicated. I imagine when you get older, into adulthood, its not much easier, but I am obviously not there yet, so I don't want to act like I know how older adults handle this stuff. I'm just talking about teenagers. Here is what I think makes them complicated.
Apart from the crazy hormone factor, which speaks for itself, there is a maturity factor. We teenagers are not fully developed, our maturity is not there yet. This is glaringly obvious when communication happens in the form of text or Facebook! When people rely on those to avoid face-to-face contact. Or when what I call a communication "chain" happens. Like when a guy A goes to girl C and tells her to tell girl B to tell boy D to tell boy F that he likes his cousin, who is girl A! It gets messy and complicated and often doesn't work. Yet it is common in the halls of high school. Its hard to have a good relationship with out some level of maturity!
Both genders also over anylize everything! Guys and girls are on such different pages! Teenage girls are hopelessly romantic! We are very attuned to relationships and romantic interest! Even if our chances of anything happening is zero. Even if its a relationship between two other people. We just like to watch it! I blame disney..... When we pin a guy we like, we read into every move our "romantic interest" takes! To the point of "OMG! He blinked! He must want to date me!" hahahaha
But teenage guys are not as into relationships as girls are. Don't get me wrong, guys are focused on girls almost 24/7! How girls look, how girls act, how girls move. They like girls.... But they aren't as focused on the relationship aspect as girls are. They may sit in class and look at their "romantic interest" and say "OMG she blinked! She totally wants me! I mean who doesn't!?"
Over analyzing also leads to Reality vs Expectations.... More often then not, when a romantic relationship starts each teen's expectation is higher than reality. Girls are picturing the perfect gentleman that her friends woo over, who opens doors and holds her hand, and pays for all the dates. Guys are picturing the perfect "10," that all his friends are jealous of, who plays video games with him, and who can have a sandwich eating contest with. Those bars are set pretty high! And reality is generally lower. You can be happy with reality if you throw out those crazy expectations! But most high schoolers quickly see their expectatiosn are to high, and since they arent't going to be met, they simply give up. They arent willing (and probably don't know how) to comprimise in a relationship. Which is crucial! Also, a lot of teens are in it for the "status" of a relationship, the cool factor of it all. Those NEVER go well....
But there are teenage relationships that work! I can count a handful in my high school that are just the cutest things ever! They seem to be defying the odds. Some have been together for 4 years or more! And thats no small feat for the crazy jungles of the high school hallways! For the most part, teenage relationships are complicated and short lived. But, I think thats the way they are suppose to be. We are still discovering ourselves! We are discovering what we like and what we don't. We are exploring what we want to do. I think part of that is discovering the type of people we want to date. Though its messy and complicated, sometimes overly dramatic, teenage relationships are just another life experience that we can learn from. Never regret or belittle teenage relationships. I wish more teens learned from them as I have!
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