Deciding on a college (WWU vs WSU)

I can't speak for every high school senior in this post, but I can say for myself, this last week has been agonizing! I had to commit to a college! I had been admitted to all the colleges I applied to (all 5) which was great! But deciding was a terribly difficult choice! They all had the program I wanted! My dream school was the first one out, it was to expensive, even with financial aid. Then the state schools were left. I live in the great state of Washington, which left Washington State Universiy, Western Washington University, and Central Washington University as my choices. I did not even apply to the University of Washington... It was not the direction I wanted to go. I decided against central a few weeks ago... Mainly because of its location. Not the most pleasant place to spend four years of your youth. Which left western and WSU as my agonizing last two options.
They both had the program I wanted! They both had nice housing! I liked them both for different reasons. The location of western was better, and their tuition was cheaper. But their undergraduate program I like would take five years to complete. Making the price about the same as WSU's for four years. The dorm life seemed better at WSU and the program would only take four years to complete. WSU was also a different environment than the western washington atmosphere I have lived in my whole life... Something new. Also, WSU offered me some subsidized loans (meaning the government pays the interest) and western only offered me unsubsidized loans (Uncle Sam wouldn't be paying my loan interest). Among other things, I had to wait to hear back from western forever! They kept me on the waiting list for so long before admitting me.
I lost a lot of sleep. I took extra long showers weighing my options... Picturing what it would be like at both universities. I prayed hard about my decision. I had always pictured a college like western... But the idea of paying an extra year of tuition with only unsubsidized loans to help, made me cringe. It felt to me like western was saying "hey, you are our second round pick, and we won't help you get an education efficiently... Or help you financially, but come next fall if you want!"
I didn't like that feeling I was getting.
I chose Washington State University! They admitted me quickly and seem more invested in getting me the education in the time frame I want. And though the financial aid is no "full ride", it's better than western.
My dilemma of choosing is over! It feels like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. I can now look forward to prepping for graduation and starting my fall semester in college.
To any senior who is still trying to make that decision. I feel for you, and try not to listen to anyone but yourself. Everyone has an opinion about the decision. Key thing to remember that they have OPINIONS. Not facts. Only your opinions trump in the end of this decision.

Now that this is past me I will be posting a lot more! I promise!

Posed Pictures

Whats wrong with this picture?

When looking at this picture, I am rather confused. Let me tell you why... everything in this picture is wrong. My first question is who watches television like this? The point of this picture is to show a person "relaxing and catching a great movie." But nobody watches a movie like this! That looks like a very unnatural and uncomfortable position to sit and watch a movie in!

~First off, she is dressed in all white. Leaving no room for her to spill some of that popcorn she is eating. 

~Look at her popcorn bowl.... nobody eats that small amount of popcorn. Everyone's knows what I'm talking about, when you sit down to watch a movie with a bowl of popcorn, the mountain of buttered popcorn goodness should be bigger than your head, and you should eat it one monstrous hand-full at a time! 

~Her hair and make-up does not say "I'm about to chill and watch a movie" it more says "I'm playing Reese Witherspoon's understudy for an awkward sex scene in her newest romantic comedy."No girl watches a movie in a pony-tail, cause we all know that means you can't lean your head back on the couch or bed! Also, this may just be a me thing, but if I know I'm going to sit in a room and watch television for a long period of time. I don't waist time coloring my eyelashes with crayons, no make-up for me!

~And look at her body position! After about five minutes her arm would be sore and her hand and wrist would tire from holding the weight of her head!

The most accurate picture that would portraying a young woman watching T.V. should look more like me... I chill on the couch and watch T.V. more often than I would like to admit! The true picture would be one of this girl in a crew neck sweatshirt and her grungiest pair of sweat pants. It should have her laying on her back or stomach taking up as much space on the bed as possible and her head at an angle that gives her that slight double chin we all get when we lay down and look towards our feet. The popcorn bowl should grow three sizes bigger, and her hair should be down. 

Such a misleading photo! I am going to go eat some popcorn while wearing sweatpants now! :)

My Flow Addiction

My name is Sammy Lynn and today I admit myself to Flow Players Anonymous.... FPA for short. If you aren't firmiliar with what I am referring to, it is a game on my phone where you connect colored dots within a set playing feild of sqares. The connections have to take up the entire playing feild, as well as, not connect with each other. And there is a set number of moves you have to make these connections in! The Internet is a thing, google the game, then buy it and play it, and join FPA with me!
I play this game every free chance I get! When I'm waiting for class to start, on the bus to a game, at lunch, in bed, even while procrastinating homework!
I wanted to share with ya'll my thought process while trying to master this mind game! I toucher myself sometimes! So here it is! (And keep in mind this is only for the 11x11 levels and up, the others don't take that much thought...)

When I first open the fresh level: "OMG! This is so hard! I will never achieve this! So many colors!"

After a few attempts: "ok, I can connect half of this stupid thing, but not the rest..."

Making little-to-no-progress: "this is impossible! How do people complete this! They can't possible connect! I must stop!"

After a break: "make two more connections or you don't eat tonight!!"
Ponder the threat I just made to myself: " haha good one selfie, go get yourself a cookie!"

Still not getting it: "screw this! I'm going to give up life and go live in a hobbit house in New Zealand!"

Eating a cookie and playing: "wow! This cookie was the magic key! I am really solving this!"

Makes all the connections in wrong amount of moves: "OMFG! Yes! You are so smart! The whole world should now bow down to your superior Flow ability! Quick! Screenshot this thing of beauty so you can recreate it in the right amount of moves."

After screenshot and successful level completion: "Sammy Lynn! Put on your poker face! Don't show the game how much you care! It can sense vulnerability!"

Repeat

Hahahaha all in fun and games though! Some of these statements might be exaggerated :) none-the-less, I take this game seriously! Cause it's the little achievements that get you through the day right?

Almost There

Let me preface this by saying I don't feel this way all the time. But today this factor was just sticking out to me more than usual.
I have this overwhelming feeling of inadequacy about my achievements. I feel like I never really hit the mark I was going for. In a lot of the things I do I get "almost there." In school, I get a grade thats almost the grade I was going for. I was close, but not there. I take a test in English, and almost get an A, I may be a few points away, but those few pints make the difference. When that happens I tell myself, you can do better next time. I tell myself, I tried my hardest and thats all that matters.
At home, I have a list of six things I want to accomplish, stuff like call my grandma, clean the bathroom, do my homework, do the dishwasher, and sort my laundry. Ultimately I get most of them done, but not all of them. My list was almost complete. When that happens I tell myself, its ok, there aren't' enough hours in the day, and reassure myself I will get to it later.
In fastpitch, there is always a catch I almost made, or a ball I almost beat out to first base. When those plays happen, I tell myself that its a game and things don't always go my way. The lack of accomplishment in all those still bite at me though.
But these scenarios seem to be occurring more often than the alternative recently. I am coming up shy more than I am not. I almost got into that college, or I almost was there on time, I almost got that scholarship, I came close to hitting that ball, I almost got asked out on a date. But the guy finds someone he would rather have then me. Or someone had a slightly better college essay than I did. Seems like someone always is slightly above me, even if we put in the same amount of effort. And some would say its cause I don't' try. Thats just simply not true, ask anybody who knows me, I try hard and give my goals everything I have.
So, what does all this do to a person like me? If I'm giving my goal my best effort, and still coming up short, wouldn't that lead me to believe that my best just isn't good enough? Cause thats what it is starting to feel like. I mean, I study my brains out for a test, and get a C-. Does that mean my efforts are only worth a C-? My entire high school career I have held a GPA that is "almost adequate"...  I take batting lessons weekly, during the on and off season, and train hard for my sport, yet have no worthy batting average to speak of. On a weekly basis my coach will say "that hit was almost there." Is this normal? Maybe my stretch, my efforts, my reach is just to short for my tall expectations. I am only five feet tall... What am I not giving?... What more can I do to maximize my stunningly anemic achievement record?
To be honest it tears me to shreds. I came within reach of the college of my dreams. I almost hit the ball. I was 1 point away from a higher grade. I almost got that scholarship....

I know I have little victories. I don't come up short on the little things. But it's the big things that matter. The big things I seem to come up short on. I hate to say I almost expect it now. My motto the last year or so when I am pursuing something big has been "yah I could really get (insert goal here), but I'm just not that lucky."

Hopefully sometime soon I get a win. Not a tie, not second place, not a participation ribbon, but a big win for something I worked for...

Graduate Centered Spotlight

It is customary for the family of a graduating high school senior to throw a social gathering together in honor of the past, present, and future achievements of their young child. Most notably, the achievement of graduating high school. My family is no exception to this suburban American custom. Party preparation is in full swing, a guest list is being comprised, food ideas are being tossed around, and most importantly a date is being decided. We have extended family we want to join us. We are working very hard to work around their travel availability. But part of me feels kinda bad about all this arrangement. They would travel for hours to come to our house and eat food and tell me how proud they are of me for graduating high school. Something I have to, pretty much by law, complete. They would spend how much gas money to drive here to tell me how proud they are of me for getting into a college (TBD). Travel to attend a party that will last two and a half hours at best... I feel like I am not worth that much travel. My parents would spend money on food and decorations, and countless hours of their time and energy to have this party. I feel honored and touched that they would all do that just to tell me how proud they are of me. But I hate to inconvenience anyone.
And the idea that you give graduates presents, humbles me, and slightly confuses me. I will graciously accept the gifts I will undoubtably receive. But I didn't graduate high school to get presents, or apply to college to get presents. I don't want presents from people just cause i need "stuff." I suppose the presents are more of a token of support for my future. That would make more spence. I would like presents because they support what I'm doing with my life. I just don't want graduation presents because its the "thing to do."

A lot of the events that revolve around graduating high school are very "graduate centered." Meaning it is all about me, which, unless its my birthday, I get embarrassed about. I don't like the spotlight all that much. And a graduation party is the peek of that graduation spotlight. I will face each new phase of this graduation process with a smile none-the-less. Cause I know you only get one high school graduation. And I want mine to be a positive one.

Blocked Road

Recently I have come upon a problem that I have never encountered before. I feel as though I've reached a road block!
What it is, is that I got accepted into my dream college.... I GOT ACCEPTED! But the catch is I REALLY can't afford it!
So I'm rather conflicted about it. On one hand I'm ecstatic! I got into a prestigious university, which I have been obsessed with for the past four years of my life. It's a huge accomplishment! And everyone I've told has been incredibly supportive and proud! This university was my dream! Emphasis on WAS...Because it's an expensive dream...
My family is a middle class family, we do well in general. But we don't have a spare $48,000 lying around for me to go get a piece of paper saying I sat in this universities classrooms for 4 years.
I have gotten into other universities, and can get the same degree at the other colleges. They are head and shoulders cheaper, as well, averaging only about $25,000. Though, there are many other factors in determining which college to attend, price is a big one. Settling for one of these other universities is what I'm going to do. Now I just have to chose which one!
Such a high, and such a low all at once. Not sure how to feel...

What do you do when you can't afford your dream?