College Tour Decoder

Having been on my fair share of college campus tours, of both the private and publics schools, and both in orientation style and personal one-one-one. I feel I have mastered the art of decoding what the tour guides say to what they really mean. I will share with you a few of the most common!
1. "We have a nationally ranked --insert program here--" Of course you have something nationally ranked! If you are a college anywhere in the nation, you are automatically ranked in categories with all the other schools in the nation! Notice they never say specifically where they are ranked! It just sounds impressive to be nationally ranked.
2. "We have a top ranking --insert program here--" Still not specifying where in the top, the top could be any number of schools are in the mix with this one you are looking at....
3. "Our students get unparalleled one-on-one time with staff" This statement is meant to imply that students have access to professors like no other, but staff really also includes T.A.s (which teach lectures in some of the bigger schools), R.A.s, and any staff member at any sort of reception desk. So this statement is very misleading.... Though its great to have access to T.A.s and R.A.s a lot too, its just not what it sounds like to the perspective student.
4. "We have a really good football team"...... Cause thats why we're all coming here, thats the deciding factor.... your football team.
5. "I walk around campus and always see a friendly face! Everyone is so friendly!" They always say as we pass numerous students staring at us, with some questionable looks, like they've never seen a mass group of high schoolers before. Or when the tour guide waves (to demonstrate how friendly everyone is) and they give a totally weirded out look and frightfully wave back. Thats always a personal favorite.
6. "This residence hall is our most historic" Its the schools oldest and most outdated building.... No getting around it.
7. "The residence halls are all pretty much the same" NOT! The one built 100 years ago, and renovated 40 years ago, vs. the one built two years ago, are VERY different! I don't care what you say!

Prospective college goers I urge you, like myself, to be cautious of how tour guides say things! Ask lots of clarifying questions! And keep this list in mind!
-Samantha