Almost There

Let me preface this by saying I don't feel this way all the time. But today this factor was just sticking out to me more than usual.
I have this overwhelming feeling of inadequacy about my achievements. I feel like I never really hit the mark I was going for. In a lot of the things I do I get "almost there." In school, I get a grade thats almost the grade I was going for. I was close, but not there. I take a test in English, and almost get an A, I may be a few points away, but those few pints make the difference. When that happens I tell myself, you can do better next time. I tell myself, I tried my hardest and thats all that matters.
At home, I have a list of six things I want to accomplish, stuff like call my grandma, clean the bathroom, do my homework, do the dishwasher, and sort my laundry. Ultimately I get most of them done, but not all of them. My list was almost complete. When that happens I tell myself, its ok, there aren't' enough hours in the day, and reassure myself I will get to it later.
In fastpitch, there is always a catch I almost made, or a ball I almost beat out to first base. When those plays happen, I tell myself that its a game and things don't always go my way. The lack of accomplishment in all those still bite at me though.
But these scenarios seem to be occurring more often than the alternative recently. I am coming up shy more than I am not. I almost got into that college, or I almost was there on time, I almost got that scholarship, I came close to hitting that ball, I almost got asked out on a date. But the guy finds someone he would rather have then me. Or someone had a slightly better college essay than I did. Seems like someone always is slightly above me, even if we put in the same amount of effort. And some would say its cause I don't' try. Thats just simply not true, ask anybody who knows me, I try hard and give my goals everything I have.
So, what does all this do to a person like me? If I'm giving my goal my best effort, and still coming up short, wouldn't that lead me to believe that my best just isn't good enough? Cause thats what it is starting to feel like. I mean, I study my brains out for a test, and get a C-. Does that mean my efforts are only worth a C-? My entire high school career I have held a GPA that is "almost adequate"...  I take batting lessons weekly, during the on and off season, and train hard for my sport, yet have no worthy batting average to speak of. On a weekly basis my coach will say "that hit was almost there." Is this normal? Maybe my stretch, my efforts, my reach is just to short for my tall expectations. I am only five feet tall... What am I not giving?... What more can I do to maximize my stunningly anemic achievement record?
To be honest it tears me to shreds. I came within reach of the college of my dreams. I almost hit the ball. I was 1 point away from a higher grade. I almost got that scholarship....

I know I have little victories. I don't come up short on the little things. But it's the big things that matter. The big things I seem to come up short on. I hate to say I almost expect it now. My motto the last year or so when I am pursuing something big has been "yah I could really get (insert goal here), but I'm just not that lucky."

Hopefully sometime soon I get a win. Not a tie, not second place, not a participation ribbon, but a big win for something I worked for...