If you really think about it. A birthday celebration is simply people congratulating you and buying you things purely for being conceived, making it nine months in your mothers stomach, then being born. Birthdays give people credit every year for an action they had no control over and have no memory of.
I can understand parents celebrating this day. Cause... Well... They did it all. But that's not how it is. A birthday is ALL about the person. It's about their desires and going the extra mile to cater to their needs. Not to celebrate the family accomplishment this person really is. In fact, most parents are just as stressed over the affairs of their kids birthday party as they were the day their kid was being born!
Note also, that some cultures don't celebrate birthdays! Some for religious reasons, others' societies simply don't put value on the day of ones birth the way America does. They put more value on events of the living and even events of the dead!
I think in the common American culture we have blown the whole birthday extravaganza out of the water. Kids now a days expect money and toys and clothes for simply being born! Teenagers expected heightened social status among their peers. Birthday parties often require hundreds of dollars when all is said and done. Activities and awesome destinations for teenagers are becoming the "norm" for parties. Adults.... Well, I don't know what they expect, cause I haven't lived through that yet. But I know they celebrate it... Usually with an alcoholic beverage in hand and friends close by.
I think it's an odd celebration that has evolved over the years. Not saying I don't immensely enjoy the excitement that comes with my birthday! Don't get me wrong I love it, and look forward to it every year. But I have to believe that's because the culture I was raised in puts emphasis on it.
On my friends birthday card recently I wrote "congrats on beginning to breathe 18 years ago today!"
Maybe it should not be a celebration of the fact that the person was born so much. But more of a celebration of the type of person they have become. More of a celebration of the great things about that person, and the friends that cherish them. That sounds like a better reason to gather once a year and eat cake with tiny sticks of fire on it. Instead of representing the number of years, the candles should represent a good quality about that person and have each party goer place one on! Celebrate the amazing start to an amazing person with an amazing purpose . That's how I justify birthdays.... I have concluded!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Sick Parents
Every kid with parents can relate to this feeling. You know, when you walk into the kitchen like its a normal morning, and you find your dad sniffling and coughing. Or you find your mom laying in bed with 14 tissues surrounding her. You can sense the sick radiating from them. and you immediately know the house hold functionality will shift now that your parental unit is sick!
Now, when I am sick like that, or one of my younger sisters is, they go into "super parent" mode to take care of us. They especially monitor us to make sure we don't need to go to the doctor. But who does that for them when they are sick!? For lack of a better phrase, its always awkward. Is it our job (us kids) to resume the care taker role? Do we leave them be? Do we take care of them to the extent they do us? I'm never quite sure. And being the oldest, I have to assume responsibility for my sisters when my parents are down and out. But I can't write checks, buy food, go to their work, and for the longest time couldn't drive them anywhere. They never completely get a sick day with all the stuff we depend on them for. But that's what spouses are for right!? Well, my parents are pro at getting really sick at the same time. It's scary how often they get ill together. And I'm not talking common cold, I'm talking can't work and in bed all day sick. So my sisters and I walk around the house trying not to agitate our already sick and cranky parents. It's also weird to see them in such a vulnerable state.
Now that my sisters and I are all old enough to care for ourselves, my parents being sick is less of an inconvenience to the well being of the household. How they got sick when we were all small children I have no idea! But it's no fun for the whole family non the less.
I am once again in Thai scenario, as both my parents are getting sick. Hopefully nobody else gets sick in the family!
Now, when I am sick like that, or one of my younger sisters is, they go into "super parent" mode to take care of us. They especially monitor us to make sure we don't need to go to the doctor. But who does that for them when they are sick!? For lack of a better phrase, its always awkward. Is it our job (us kids) to resume the care taker role? Do we leave them be? Do we take care of them to the extent they do us? I'm never quite sure. And being the oldest, I have to assume responsibility for my sisters when my parents are down and out. But I can't write checks, buy food, go to their work, and for the longest time couldn't drive them anywhere. They never completely get a sick day with all the stuff we depend on them for. But that's what spouses are for right!? Well, my parents are pro at getting really sick at the same time. It's scary how often they get ill together. And I'm not talking common cold, I'm talking can't work and in bed all day sick. So my sisters and I walk around the house trying not to agitate our already sick and cranky parents. It's also weird to see them in such a vulnerable state.
Now that my sisters and I are all old enough to care for ourselves, my parents being sick is less of an inconvenience to the well being of the household. How they got sick when we were all small children I have no idea! But it's no fun for the whole family non the less.
I am once again in Thai scenario, as both my parents are getting sick. Hopefully nobody else gets sick in the family!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Mental Failure
The game of fastpitch and baseball is a very strategic game, it is a team sport, yet very much a personal sport. A game I have been playing since the age of four, I have become accustom to the emotions and mentally taxing scenarios that happen when playing. It is not uncommon to here the phrase "get out of your head" or "don't think to much" during a game. The game takes so much situational thinking that its hard no to constantly be in your own head.
If the ball goes here, I do this. If the ball goes there, I do that. If the ball is hit to her, I move over here. If the ball gets passed her, I do this. If the pitch is here, I swing like this. If she pitches it here, I hit it over there.
Today I played a routine game. Nothing new about the position I was in, or the people I was playing with. But I could not get my mind out of my head. I was constantly going over scenarios, and plays in my head. Which can be a fatal error, and proved to be today. I missed two routine pop flies hit towards me. I am normally reliable in the outfield, anything within a ten foot radius is a given. But today the ball was hit right at me and I didn't catch it. The problem was I was overanalyzing the play. I was overanalyzing the spin of the ball, and the reaction I should have had to it.
After the initial shock of the failure I had just achieved wore off, I felt an amount of guilt comparable to that of cheating on an exam and then getting caught. All eyes were glued on my error, both of them... I felt guilt for my pitcher, that I couldn't help her out. I felt guilt for my infielders, knowing they helplessly watched the ball fall to the ground. I felt guilty for my coaches, watching their hours of work they put into me go to waist in one swift movement. I felt guilty for the parents and fans, spending their precious free time to not even watch me catch a ball.
This flood of rage, shock, anger, guilt, and sadness came over me in that minute. I knew the run that was earned because of that error would come back to bite me, and it did. We lost by one run....
I was already to much in my head, and this sent me into an inward mental spiral for the rest of the game. Though I got hits, and one RBI, and my team's spirit was up. I could not shake the mental monkey that was on my back.
I am beginning to realize at this age, I have almost perfected my playing mechanics, but have not perfected my mental mechanics. I am naturally hard on myself for the littlest of things. It's a trait i've always had. I've read its a Virgo thing apparently.... But astrological signs aside.... I was particularly tough on myself for this mistake. I have to learn to perfect my mental mechanics. Doing that would mean being able to analyze why I did something wrong, and how I can correct it, and be able to push aside the crushing disappointment and guilt, like I felt today.
Tomorrow is a new day, and the crippling guilt will melt away. The self-doubt and pity will fade away. I will put my cleats on again, and play the game I love like I have been since I was four. I won't think about it, I'll just do it....
"Baseball is ninety percent mental, and the other half physical" - Yogi Berra
If the ball goes here, I do this. If the ball goes there, I do that. If the ball is hit to her, I move over here. If the ball gets passed her, I do this. If the pitch is here, I swing like this. If she pitches it here, I hit it over there.
Today I played a routine game. Nothing new about the position I was in, or the people I was playing with. But I could not get my mind out of my head. I was constantly going over scenarios, and plays in my head. Which can be a fatal error, and proved to be today. I missed two routine pop flies hit towards me. I am normally reliable in the outfield, anything within a ten foot radius is a given. But today the ball was hit right at me and I didn't catch it. The problem was I was overanalyzing the play. I was overanalyzing the spin of the ball, and the reaction I should have had to it.
After the initial shock of the failure I had just achieved wore off, I felt an amount of guilt comparable to that of cheating on an exam and then getting caught. All eyes were glued on my error, both of them... I felt guilt for my pitcher, that I couldn't help her out. I felt guilt for my infielders, knowing they helplessly watched the ball fall to the ground. I felt guilty for my coaches, watching their hours of work they put into me go to waist in one swift movement. I felt guilty for the parents and fans, spending their precious free time to not even watch me catch a ball.
This flood of rage, shock, anger, guilt, and sadness came over me in that minute. I knew the run that was earned because of that error would come back to bite me, and it did. We lost by one run....
I was already to much in my head, and this sent me into an inward mental spiral for the rest of the game. Though I got hits, and one RBI, and my team's spirit was up. I could not shake the mental monkey that was on my back.
I am beginning to realize at this age, I have almost perfected my playing mechanics, but have not perfected my mental mechanics. I am naturally hard on myself for the littlest of things. It's a trait i've always had. I've read its a Virgo thing apparently.... But astrological signs aside.... I was particularly tough on myself for this mistake. I have to learn to perfect my mental mechanics. Doing that would mean being able to analyze why I did something wrong, and how I can correct it, and be able to push aside the crushing disappointment and guilt, like I felt today.
Tomorrow is a new day, and the crippling guilt will melt away. The self-doubt and pity will fade away. I will put my cleats on again, and play the game I love like I have been since I was four. I won't think about it, I'll just do it....
"Baseball is ninety percent mental, and the other half physical" - Yogi Berra
Friday, March 8, 2013
Is he a good texter?
It is a common question in this day and age. When a girl meets a guy and tells her friend about him, her friend will inevitably ask "is he a good texter?"
I have recently been put in this situation, and began to wonder what constitutes a good guy texter, a person who is superb at text messaging. I mean, most guys have a hard time with making natural conversation anyway!
Here is what I have come up with that makes a good guy texter:
-He initiates at least half the conversations
-If you ask him a question, he will answer and turn the question on you... Keeping the conversation going
-He doesn't text "conversation enders" every time. (Those are things like "lol yah" or "nice!")
-If he does a conversation ender, he lets you know he has to go
-He uses emojis, but not an overload
-On average he replies within a timely manor (you can't expect him to reply perfectly all the time, that's not humanly possible, but consistency is nice!)
-He ends your conversation on a sort of "cliff-hanging" note that leaves it open to be picked up the next day casually by either of you! That's the best!
I'm not exactly sure what a timely manor is for a reply. And I know for guys, things like "lol yah" aren't conversation enders, they are just his thoughts, but to girls they are. I never know what to say back to those sort of things!
I'll have to wait and see if this guy I've started texting is a "good texter"! Though, I would never judge a guy by the way he texts! That could cause all sorts of trouble! It's just a quality guys didn't used to be judged on that I think they are now!
That's my random thought of the day!
I have recently been put in this situation, and began to wonder what constitutes a good guy texter, a person who is superb at text messaging. I mean, most guys have a hard time with making natural conversation anyway!
Here is what I have come up with that makes a good guy texter:
-He initiates at least half the conversations
-If you ask him a question, he will answer and turn the question on you... Keeping the conversation going
-He doesn't text "conversation enders" every time. (Those are things like "lol yah" or "nice!")
-If he does a conversation ender, he lets you know he has to go
-He uses emojis, but not an overload
-On average he replies within a timely manor (you can't expect him to reply perfectly all the time, that's not humanly possible, but consistency is nice!)
-He ends your conversation on a sort of "cliff-hanging" note that leaves it open to be picked up the next day casually by either of you! That's the best!
I'm not exactly sure what a timely manor is for a reply. And I know for guys, things like "lol yah" aren't conversation enders, they are just his thoughts, but to girls they are. I never know what to say back to those sort of things!
I'll have to wait and see if this guy I've started texting is a "good texter"! Though, I would never judge a guy by the way he texts! That could cause all sorts of trouble! It's just a quality guys didn't used to be judged on that I think they are now!
That's my random thought of the day!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Fear of Forgetting
I have this weird fear, that when a person dies, I will forget them. Not particularly forget that they existed. But forget the little things about them, the memories we made and experiences we shared.
When a loved one dies, the grieving process is slow and long. And I won't go into what the grieving process is, that's a whole other topic. But a very important aspect of grieving is "time." The amount of hours, days, weeks, months, and years it can take to return to normal. A beautiful thing time allows us humans to do is move on, create new memories, and focus on the living people in our lives. But time is exactly what I fear will take my memories away!
I want to be able to remember every afternoon I spent playing cards or Chinese checkers with my grandpa.... And every Easter, Christmas, 4th of July, and birthday we got to celebrate together. But with every holiday and birthday that passes I feel like the old ones with him become more distant, almost foggy. So To keep those memories sharp I must re-live them. Which elicits sadness once more, and often reawakens my grief. So my natural instinct is to stop feeling those sad thoughts so much.
I know it's impossible to forget the person, the physical human being. But I want to remember all the little adventures and conversations we got to have.
How do I do that without being sad about it at the same time?
I'm not sure...
When a loved one dies, the grieving process is slow and long. And I won't go into what the grieving process is, that's a whole other topic. But a very important aspect of grieving is "time." The amount of hours, days, weeks, months, and years it can take to return to normal. A beautiful thing time allows us humans to do is move on, create new memories, and focus on the living people in our lives. But time is exactly what I fear will take my memories away!
I want to be able to remember every afternoon I spent playing cards or Chinese checkers with my grandpa.... And every Easter, Christmas, 4th of July, and birthday we got to celebrate together. But with every holiday and birthday that passes I feel like the old ones with him become more distant, almost foggy. So To keep those memories sharp I must re-live them. Which elicits sadness once more, and often reawakens my grief. So my natural instinct is to stop feeling those sad thoughts so much.
I know it's impossible to forget the person, the physical human being. But I want to remember all the little adventures and conversations we got to have.
How do I do that without being sad about it at the same time?
I'm not sure...
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