Do you think that everyone finds "the one"? That one special person who fits you like a puzzle piece and immediately makes your life complete? Does everyone get that undeniable tug on their heart when they see "the one" that draws them towards that person as if a magnet had just found its way to the refrigerator? Does everybody find that one person? Or are there just the lucky few that do, and the rest just settle? Is there really "the one" or are there many you could be equally compatible with and it is just chance as to which one you meet? What are the chances of finding "the one" if there is such a thing?
I don't really have the answers to all those questions… I have a few thoughts…
I have a hard time believing there is just one person meant for one other person, because there is no way all the right people would meet their person in this world! It's to big! But I kind of believe there are few people in this world that would work for everybody, and the chances of finding one out of that handful of possibilities is still slim, but better. Kinda takes the romance of "the one" out of it all, but what can I say. It's what my logical brain thinks. I also believe over half the population settles. They, for whatever reason, have found someone who will do simply because they feel the need to settle down quickly, desperately crave love and connection and don't want to wait any longer, and have found a person who meets half of their check list who is somewhat in the same boat. These relationships make it just fine for the most part, but seem to be missing something, and I've never been able to place just what. That leave the rest of the population as what I refer to as the lucky ones, who find someone and experience this undeniable and unexplainable attraction to a person, when they have found their magnet… They are those couples everyone aspires to be like, the source of the settling couples' aspiration and/or desperation, and have a radiance about them that is unexplainable. I undoubtably believe there is human capability for an above-average connection with another person. And I think everyone finds it at a different time in their life. Some find it in middle school, some are the stereotypical and statistically improbable high school sweet-hearts, many are college lovers, and some are fully fledged working class adults. No time in life is to early or late to find that magically strong connection, I just think that a lot of people never reach that connection or are to impatient or untrusting to find it. It is a special thing when two people experience it though. I have to believe that both parties feel it as well, it's never really a one sided thing. Both partners experience the same eventual feelings and it makes the relationship this awesome, open, and easy experience. As if all the guess work and "games" are thrown out the window… The two just connect.
I hesitate to use the word supernatural, but there is something bigger than us putting all of these connections together, that is for sure.
I personally will never settle until my heart feels that tug and my soul softly whispers "oh, there you are! I've been looking for you my whole life." I would urge anyone reading this not to settle, just cause one person found "the one" sooner than you, doesn't make you any lesser, it just means God is still orchestrating his grand plan. Listen to your heart, and you might find "the one" that God has placed in front of you.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Time and Perspective
Time is the ultimate giver of perspective. It makes it so you can look back on experiences and see them in a way you were never aware of while you were living in that moment. Time is ever illusive, and something that astounds me when I really sit down and think about it. Time is a deceptive thing... I can be sitting in class for two hours and it can feel like two days, I can spend two months hanging out with one person and it can feel like just two hours went by. As a college student time is precious, it seems as if the hours of the day are permanently stuck on fast forward, you get done with the week and it strikes you that you can't even remember monday, it feels like weeks ago, and you are able to have a whole new perspective on the problems you were facing monday, possibly even look back and see why things were the way they were, why a situation occurred and what you can learn from it. Perspective can show you how wrong you could have been about a person, or a situation, and how good something else can be. Shed light on why what you thought was right, was all wrong. Perspective can show you what life methods worked for you and what didn't. Perspective is an ongoing learning tool, one that can easily be overlooked but when paired with time, can lead to unequivocal benefits. Like letting go of regret, of hatred, of grudges, or of sadness.
We as humans spend a lot of time reminiscing about the time we spent doing things in the past, as well as planning the way we will use our future time. I think we do this more than focusing on the present time and place because we are able to gain perspective on those situations. Where as when we focus on the time here and now, we lack perspective, we more than likely lack the insight into our actions, others' actions, or why a situation is occurring. And to us, that's not as fun... But I try to do it on the daily, because I think it is important to acknowledge the here and now, acknowledge the people around me, my feelings, and even though I may not understand why all the things around me are happening, I know I will get through them, and as time passes, I will gain perspective on it all.
Time is something to be thankful for and perspective is something to look forward to and acknowledge once achieved.
We as humans spend a lot of time reminiscing about the time we spent doing things in the past, as well as planning the way we will use our future time. I think we do this more than focusing on the present time and place because we are able to gain perspective on those situations. Where as when we focus on the time here and now, we lack perspective, we more than likely lack the insight into our actions, others' actions, or why a situation is occurring. And to us, that's not as fun... But I try to do it on the daily, because I think it is important to acknowledge the here and now, acknowledge the people around me, my feelings, and even though I may not understand why all the things around me are happening, I know I will get through them, and as time passes, I will gain perspective on it all.
Time is something to be thankful for and perspective is something to look forward to and acknowledge once achieved.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Should've named me Grace
Everyone has those less than elegant moments of their life, let me just get right to the fact that I had a pretty big one last night.
I was walking up a simple staircase with another human of the opposite gender. We were joking around and having fun when I said "how many steps can you reach in one step?" As if to challenge him.... He extends his leg up the staircase and plants it firmly four steps up from where we were. As impressed as I was, the competitor inside me wanted to out do him... So I grasp the hand rail to my right and extend my leg five steps up from where we were. Stuck in this position for a second I had to gather up the strength and focus to hoist myself to the step using the guard rail. As soon as my back foot lifted off the ground, I went swinging off balance into the guard rail, slamming my head into the top, and my knee into the side. I guess I overestimated my balance and strength and underestimated that stupid fifth step. Before I could even really grasp what happened I got myself up, and he was frantically making sure I was ok! For a second I was numb from embarrassment and confusion. Nothing was truly hurt except my pride. I tried my hardest to play it cool as we slowly made our way up the rest of the staircase. As the evening went on my knee pain grew and grew, my head stayed relatively pain free. But I couldn't release the memory of the incident out of my head. How awkward and stupid the motion looked, what it must have looked like to him, what it sounded like, or how I tried to play it off.
When I was a child, and I did something ungraceful, my grandma would laugh and say "should've named you grace" cause obviously I was lacking some of that in whatever that particular incident was.
As I retired to my dorm room that night, I had two thoughts.
The first, "Its a good sign he continued to hang out with me after that moment... right!? Means I haven't totally fended him off yet! :)" The second was simply replaying the fall in my head with my grandmas voice over it all going "should've name you Grace!"
I was walking up a simple staircase with another human of the opposite gender. We were joking around and having fun when I said "how many steps can you reach in one step?" As if to challenge him.... He extends his leg up the staircase and plants it firmly four steps up from where we were. As impressed as I was, the competitor inside me wanted to out do him... So I grasp the hand rail to my right and extend my leg five steps up from where we were. Stuck in this position for a second I had to gather up the strength and focus to hoist myself to the step using the guard rail. As soon as my back foot lifted off the ground, I went swinging off balance into the guard rail, slamming my head into the top, and my knee into the side. I guess I overestimated my balance and strength and underestimated that stupid fifth step. Before I could even really grasp what happened I got myself up, and he was frantically making sure I was ok! For a second I was numb from embarrassment and confusion. Nothing was truly hurt except my pride. I tried my hardest to play it cool as we slowly made our way up the rest of the staircase. As the evening went on my knee pain grew and grew, my head stayed relatively pain free. But I couldn't release the memory of the incident out of my head. How awkward and stupid the motion looked, what it must have looked like to him, what it sounded like, or how I tried to play it off.
When I was a child, and I did something ungraceful, my grandma would laugh and say "should've named you grace" cause obviously I was lacking some of that in whatever that particular incident was.
As I retired to my dorm room that night, I had two thoughts.
The first, "Its a good sign he continued to hang out with me after that moment... right!? Means I haven't totally fended him off yet! :)" The second was simply replaying the fall in my head with my grandmas voice over it all going "should've name you Grace!"
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Musical Mood
I am a firm believer in matching every mood I have with music. I think there is a song for everything I am feeling at any given moment. Sometimes I am in a particular mood and I can't find a song or genre that matches it, and I get severely frustrated. I honestly can't do any other substantial task until I have satisfied my musical mood. It helps get whatever emotion I am feeling out, because I am not good at expressing emotions, I am more than willing to let music do it for me.
When I am in a generally happy mood, I tap into Eric Hutchinson, Colbie Caillet, One Direction (they are very upbeat and light hearted and cute, don't judge me), some Mumford and Sons, maybe a little One Republic, or bring it way back to the Barenaked Ladies!
When I am in a hopeless romantic mood I start out in a Ben Rector sort of mood. As the relationship grows I move into Lady Antebellum/Sugarland mixed with other random country love songs, and then soar into the desperately hopeless romantic soundtrack of classic Taylor Swift, finally, though I have never reached this point in a romantic relationship, I've always imagined at the final stretch it's a very Micheal Buble sort of feeling.
When I am in an angry/pump-up sort of mood, I gravitate towards a lot of older Maroon 5, We the Kings, and ultimately the All American Rejects round out that category.
When I feel relaxed, or am trying to achieve a tasks like a homework assignment or clean my room, I gravitate towards easy listening about life. A lot of John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and Jack Johnson come up. More Ben Rector and the smoother songs of Maroon 5 come into play. Those type of songs that make you contemplate the lyrics or something about life to distract me from the task I am presently doing.
There are a few exceptions, for example, disney music is always a good choice, regardless of my mood. And during the christmas holiday season, every genre of music goes on the back burner to make room for christmas music.... A category of music in which I am fully stalked! Keep in mind sometimes moods flow into each other and I mix two categories to match my mood. It really helps me sort through what I am feeling at any given time. If you are someone who doesn't like to talk about their feelings, or doesn't like to show emotion, this is a great outward escape. So go out and find YOUR musical mood!
When I am in a generally happy mood, I tap into Eric Hutchinson, Colbie Caillet, One Direction (they are very upbeat and light hearted and cute, don't judge me), some Mumford and Sons, maybe a little One Republic, or bring it way back to the Barenaked Ladies!
When I am in a hopeless romantic mood I start out in a Ben Rector sort of mood. As the relationship grows I move into Lady Antebellum/Sugarland mixed with other random country love songs, and then soar into the desperately hopeless romantic soundtrack of classic Taylor Swift, finally, though I have never reached this point in a romantic relationship, I've always imagined at the final stretch it's a very Micheal Buble sort of feeling.
When I am in an angry/pump-up sort of mood, I gravitate towards a lot of older Maroon 5, We the Kings, and ultimately the All American Rejects round out that category.
When I feel relaxed, or am trying to achieve a tasks like a homework assignment or clean my room, I gravitate towards easy listening about life. A lot of John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and Jack Johnson come up. More Ben Rector and the smoother songs of Maroon 5 come into play. Those type of songs that make you contemplate the lyrics or something about life to distract me from the task I am presently doing.
There are a few exceptions, for example, disney music is always a good choice, regardless of my mood. And during the christmas holiday season, every genre of music goes on the back burner to make room for christmas music.... A category of music in which I am fully stalked! Keep in mind sometimes moods flow into each other and I mix two categories to match my mood. It really helps me sort through what I am feeling at any given time. If you are someone who doesn't like to talk about their feelings, or doesn't like to show emotion, this is a great outward escape. So go out and find YOUR musical mood!
Monday, October 7, 2013
Excited
I have just been feeling really excited lately. I can't quite explain it all. I get up every morning and there is something to look forward to every day! Be it a simple coffee date with a friend, getting a nap in during the middle of the day, getting to go to on-campus events with friends, maybe a special food in the dinning hall, or getting to Skype with friends/family back home. Whatever it is I wake up excited every day and find myself motivated by that one event. This mentality has not always been around, I can't really remember feeling this way as often in high school. It might just be that everything here at college is still a little new and exciting, but I feel like this mentality will stick around for a while.... I can't explain it. The people in my life make me look forward to facing the day. I have the undying support of family and my faith, thats enough to make any day exciting in itself.
I don't know.... I look forward to the little things each and every day. It seems as if each day gets more and more exciting, there is a lot to look forward to. My dad is coming to visit, my friends and I have fun things planned, and every day just gets me closer to some other exciting thing! I feel stuck in a perpetually good and excited mood. I hope it never goes away!
I don't know.... I look forward to the little things each and every day. It seems as if each day gets more and more exciting, there is a lot to look forward to. My dad is coming to visit, my friends and I have fun things planned, and every day just gets me closer to some other exciting thing! I feel stuck in a perpetually good and excited mood. I hope it never goes away!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Facebook Rules for Older People
So, I have been having an ongoing issue with the older generation population on facebook. Mainly with their lack of knowledge when it comes to facebook etiquette. Many of my older "Facebook friends" are extended family or church family who I love and cherish with all my heart but seriously wish they would "get with the program" and use facebook etiquette! This is my message to them, and anyone else it may apply to.
For starters, STOP reposting those spam statuses that are like "everyone can see everything on your facebook page unless you jump through these 20 hoops, unfriend half your friends, sign a blood oath, and give up your first born child." (A little dramatic, but you get the picture) Those kind of statuses have no truth to them. If you really want to know about your privacy settings, go to your privacy settings and look! Posting those statuses to your wall announces to the world you were to naive to understand what it was really saying and to lazy to see if what it was saying was true.
Secondly, there is a huge difference in implication between liking a post and commenting on a post. When you think someone is doing something cool, or you agree with what they say, or find what they posted to be funny, you "like" it. The little like icon on the bottom left side of the post. Generally you only comment on a post if you have something to add, or if you were part of the experience they talked about. If the post was a question and you have an answer, then it is all ok too!
The third piece is, DO NOT comment on posts of people you do not know. For instance, if I am tagged in a post by my friend Kate cause we went on a coffee run or something, and my cousin Rey does not know Kate and is not associated with the coffee run we took together, it is generally understood Rey would not comment on that post. It would be acceptable to "like" the status, because he like or cares about what I, his cousin, is up to. But if Rey comments on the post, and possibly makes reference to something Kate doesn't know, it becomes awkward because it was Kate's post to begin with. Now all her friends can see that comment too. Now, if I had been the one to post about Kate and I having an adventure, since I am directly connected and facebook friends with Rey, it would be acceptable for him to comment on it.
Also, not everything you see on facebook NEEDS to be commented on! That is the beauty of the like button. You can acknowledge you have seen what I or my friends have posted. Try to find the right delicate balance between the comment and like ratio.
It should also be noted, when you do decide to comment, (and it should be considered before hand whether you even need to comment at all) the comment should be on topic and relate to the post! If I make a status about Kate and I's coffee run, and Rey decides to comment something like " I love coffee! Passed by the coffee stand as I was picking out some fruit for a fruit salad today that I had to make for my church picnic. It was a hot day, so the picnic didn't last long! Did your church ever get their front sign fixed?" Now all my friends who liked my status know how cousin Rey's day went... There is no need for that. I still want to here about his day, and would be glad to answer his question, but thats the beauty of private message over facebook! That is what that is for! So all your facebook friends don't have to hear about Rey's life! They frankly don't all care.
I have been experiencing a lot of breaching in facebook etiquette lately. So I had to get this off my chest. Keep in mind photos are ALWAYS good to comment on, and when commenting positive things it is always appreciated. But when a comment has nothing to do with the people in it, and the commenter doesn't know the people, it gets weird... For some reason the younger generation innately knows this stuff and agrees with it. Is it because we have kind of grown up with it and the older generation hasn't? Hmmmm....
For starters, STOP reposting those spam statuses that are like "everyone can see everything on your facebook page unless you jump through these 20 hoops, unfriend half your friends, sign a blood oath, and give up your first born child." (A little dramatic, but you get the picture) Those kind of statuses have no truth to them. If you really want to know about your privacy settings, go to your privacy settings and look! Posting those statuses to your wall announces to the world you were to naive to understand what it was really saying and to lazy to see if what it was saying was true.
Secondly, there is a huge difference in implication between liking a post and commenting on a post. When you think someone is doing something cool, or you agree with what they say, or find what they posted to be funny, you "like" it. The little like icon on the bottom left side of the post. Generally you only comment on a post if you have something to add, or if you were part of the experience they talked about. If the post was a question and you have an answer, then it is all ok too!
The third piece is, DO NOT comment on posts of people you do not know. For instance, if I am tagged in a post by my friend Kate cause we went on a coffee run or something, and my cousin Rey does not know Kate and is not associated with the coffee run we took together, it is generally understood Rey would not comment on that post. It would be acceptable to "like" the status, because he like or cares about what I, his cousin, is up to. But if Rey comments on the post, and possibly makes reference to something Kate doesn't know, it becomes awkward because it was Kate's post to begin with. Now all her friends can see that comment too. Now, if I had been the one to post about Kate and I having an adventure, since I am directly connected and facebook friends with Rey, it would be acceptable for him to comment on it.
Also, not everything you see on facebook NEEDS to be commented on! That is the beauty of the like button. You can acknowledge you have seen what I or my friends have posted. Try to find the right delicate balance between the comment and like ratio.
It should also be noted, when you do decide to comment, (and it should be considered before hand whether you even need to comment at all) the comment should be on topic and relate to the post! If I make a status about Kate and I's coffee run, and Rey decides to comment something like " I love coffee! Passed by the coffee stand as I was picking out some fruit for a fruit salad today that I had to make for my church picnic. It was a hot day, so the picnic didn't last long! Did your church ever get their front sign fixed?" Now all my friends who liked my status know how cousin Rey's day went... There is no need for that. I still want to here about his day, and would be glad to answer his question, but thats the beauty of private message over facebook! That is what that is for! So all your facebook friends don't have to hear about Rey's life! They frankly don't all care.
I have been experiencing a lot of breaching in facebook etiquette lately. So I had to get this off my chest. Keep in mind photos are ALWAYS good to comment on, and when commenting positive things it is always appreciated. But when a comment has nothing to do with the people in it, and the commenter doesn't know the people, it gets weird... For some reason the younger generation innately knows this stuff and agrees with it. Is it because we have kind of grown up with it and the older generation hasn't? Hmmmm....
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